3 Tips for Using your Influence

3 Tips for Influencing Others

This weekend I had the honor of speaking at the Gospel Influence Summit held by Think Eternity in Raleigh, North Carolina. The combined social reach of those in the room topped 400 Million followers! (I added very little to that total amount)

The response I received following my presentation surprised me. The people gathered at Summit Church for the event know how to gain influence, but several commented about the difficulty they have had in leveraging their large audiences for some kind of purpose.

Gaining influence is one thing. Using your influence strategically is another matter entirely.

I’ve summarized the three main points of my talk below. If you’re leading a team, an organization or between 1 and 1 Million people on social media, I hope you find these points valuable.

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Influence Others

3 Tips for Using Your Influence for Good

Relationship

Online and Offline are no longer distinct. People are simply “Aligned” in relationship.

We still think about our digital interactions as being different from “real life.” While I understand the distinction, this is no longer true.

I know dozens of people that I have first met online, became friends, and then met in person. The wonderful thing is that these in-person interactions are no less valuable than relationships that took the opposite path. (By that I mean that they started in-person but we keep up online)

Relationships provide the value in this equation, not the technology or lack of tech environment in which these relationships exist.

We need to focus on building relationships with the people we lead. Not a means to an end, but the end goal itself. Relationship can take on different levels of engagement, but knowing one another is the first step toward building influence.

Trust

I’m a huge fan of Patrick Lencioni. His book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team is on my desk right now, and I referenced it as recently as yesterday with some other business leaders. In this business fable, a team learns that the foundation of everything is trust. This is so true!

As we build relationships, trust is gained.

I can completely disagree with someone. I can form opinions about what I know about a person from their public profiles. And then, I can sit down with them over a cup of coffee (or a Google Hangout) and have a complete change of heart because I’ve gotten to know them.

Trust doesn’t mean that I agree with everything someone says and does. Trust is understanding. I know where they’re coming from. I can anticipate their reactions, and know that their motivations are good.

When we trust people in this way, we will listen to them…and they will listen to us.

Make Others Successful

I don’t see the wold through rose colored glasses. Far from it. But I do love helping people. I love helping others be successful as they define success, and I’d bet that you do too.

When we make others better, we get better too. Everyone wins.

I’ve never lost anything by giving away my resource, my IP, my plans, my brand. When we lift up other people, and help them be successful in their calling, we all win.

Give your stuff away to someone who needs it and see what happens. You’ll feel great. You’ll build trust. Your relationships will grow.

Live your life in this way, and influence will follow.